we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
