Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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