Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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