How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
