Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
