masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Damn victory sex feels great
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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