Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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