Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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