i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
