i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
