The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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