At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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