and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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