Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
