pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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