Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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