I want to make a zoo with you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
