Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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