If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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