You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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