But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
