...so i touched it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
