You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize