idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So vagazzling was a success
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
