Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
