I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
