Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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