p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
