I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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