You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need moral support for this bender
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
