Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
