sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize