matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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