Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
