I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize