oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
