I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im holly from the hills drunk
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
