You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I pour the whiskey from now on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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