Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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