I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
