The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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