it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
