Cold hands, warm shart.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I could make wine with my vomit
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
