I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
