just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
