I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
