Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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