Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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