"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
