anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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