We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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