I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize