hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
