I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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